Wednesday, September 7, 2011

RIP Elaine Regier

My world got a little smaller this past Friday when my Aunt passed away.  She had struggled with Cancer since prior to my mom passing, and I understand she fought the battle bravely.

I have to say understood, because this information comes third hand.  I was not there, nor was I invited or informed.  I was left in the dark, discussed but never advised.  So her passing came as a shock when I opened up Facebook, and saw the posting on my 'cousins' Facebook.
I spent all day trying to get a hold of my sister to confirm what my child advised me after I saw the posting, and spent a whole day sadden and once again filled with regret.  I would have loved the opportunity to share a hug, or cry together or even offer an apology for wrongs done.  It will not be...I was not deemed worthy by the those that believe themselves to be.

What makes it sadder is simply this...this is a woman I was close to my whole life til my mother became ill. This was my biological mother, she gave birth to me and shared in my growth from a sideline, because my adoptive parents were family.  I am sad because my own daughter, whom I took in when she was an infant is her granddaughter and she too was not informed or advised or offered a hand to insure she to to say Goodbye.
Gone are the good memories of time away, teatime, and laughter of life's trials....replaced by a sadness and anger at the lack of empathy for the whole family.

Will I ever know the truth?...No, sadly not...because people were present today at her burial(another thing they blatantly lied to me about) who disliked her, who were angered by her actions...yet for the cause of martyrdom, they stood with their heads up and smiled the smile...just to belong momentarily.

My final thought on this is simple...beware...these are the same people that did this to a  child, you too are easily tossible.  Dream your dream, but know that I will never trust a word you utter again.

God speed Elaine, your questions will be asked on the other side, I am not to judge.  I will raise my teacup and wish you blessings, but I will never again remember our jaunts without asking "What was in it for her?"

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