Friday, January 27, 2012

4 Years

have passed since you left us.
Questions, accusations, reprimands and more to follow.

I want to believe that you would be disappointed in the path we have all chosen. I sit alone, lost in a sea of disbelief and angst...the past I know doesn't exist anymore, overcome with a reality people changed to be able to live with their own issues.
Today, I dont want to be me.  I would love to go back and share a cup of tea, a laugh, a hug.

Regrets are many, memories are more so, despair is inevitable.

Believe it not I miss you.


Sometimes you feel as though you are treading water
  other times you just want to sink to the bottom.

Sometimes you want to acknowledge your regrets
  other times you know others are taking care of that for you.

Sometimes you fight the fight for the right reason
  other times people fight it for you.

Sometimes you want to say "Enough"
  other times you know that someone somewhere may be rooting for you.

Sometimes you want it all to be over,
  other times no matter what promises to God you make, it is taken out of your hands and over before you want it to be.

Sometimes the biggest disappointments are solely on the shoulders of those you trusted most,
  other times the helping hand comes from a complete stranger.

Sometimes you are proud to be you
  other times you are embarassed to be.